Maybe Not Forever
by Thefangirlthatdiedfirst
Summary: Hiccup lost everything when his father abandoned him at 4 and his mother went insane and committed suicide at 8. He suffers from a severe disease that makes him constantly cough. When he's sent to an orphanage, all the kids do is bully him, but then a boy named Jack comes around! But then Jack gets adopted and Hiccup is alone again... but maybe not forever. Hijack. Hiccup X Jack.
1. Chapter 1

**So yes I do realize I have another fanfiction in progress but I had to write this down or else I would forget it and I can't wait to finish the story so I hope you like it.**

A little boy. That's all I could say I was. I wasn't a hero. I wasn't a friend. I wasn't even a man. I was just a boy. I couldn't even help people. Do you know what that made me think? It made me think that I was worthless. Useless.

But the young boy of 8 I was had a beautiful, kind, loving mother. And somehow, she was always there for me. But mother suffered from a severe mental illness, and soon she began to hit me. It wasn't my fault, my mother was going insane.

But somehow I couldn't convince myself of that.

My father had abandoned us long ago. He couldn't deal with either of our illnesses. It wasn't just mom, I had gotten an illness that came from her; it was only physical though. Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, or COPD.

COPD is a lung disease that I loathe. It has something to do with the airways that are supposed to carry air to my lungs being damaged. It's not terrible, I'm just always coughing. It isn't that bad. Sometimes I'm short of breath, sometimes I wheeze, and sometimes it feels like I _can't_ breathe. But the worst part is when I have to use the Dragon.

I call it the Dragon, but it's just a machine. It's supposed to help me breathe. I have lived with it for 15 years, but it still seems to surprise people. They always ask me if I want a cough drop, like that would help.

Soon after I turned 9, my mom went officially insane. She brought me to the grocery store and beat me right there. In court she pleaded insanity, and was taken to a mental hospital. Soon after she committed suicide.

But somehow, it didn't matter to me anymore.

They never found my dad. I assume he found someone else. That also didn't bother me. They took me to an orphanage the day after they found him and he said he wouldn't take me back. I don't regret that.

And in less than 6 months, I lost everything I thought I loved. But, turns out, it didn't bother me, so I must not have really loved them. But even if I didn't love it, I still lost all of it. It seemed, at that point, life was pretty pointless for me.

At the orphanage, the kids stayed away from me. They thought if they got too close, they might catch my illness. Which was ridiculous, now that I think about it. At the time I just assumed it was because I was different, and because I could never be normal.

But then a boy came in. He had told everyone he couldn't remember anything about his past, he just woke up freezing cold on the side of a lake. He remembered that his name was Jack, though. He had dark brown hair and eyes. He seemed like he was hiding tears. Oh well. It's not like he would approach me because I -

I suddenly went into a coughing fit again. Uhg. My chest felt tight. I shook it off and went to read a book. A book about Dragons would suffice, I thought.

"Hey… are you okay?" The boy was leaning over me. It scared me, and I bumped my head on the bookshelf. I could hear the whispers around us, wondering why he would speak to me, which frankly, I was wondering as well.

"He's sick. He's always sick!" One of the other orphans, Azula, shouted. "It's quite disgusting actually! He never stops coughing!" I flinched, and the boy, Jack, ignored him. He stuck out his hand to help me up.

I must have looked distrustful, because the kid smiled, and he had the most adorable smile. "Oh come on, I don't bite!" Hesitantly, I grabbed his hand. It was so cold! He must have had bad circulation. I coughed again, and he looked worried. "You sure you're okay?" I just nodded. I didn't want him to hear how raspy my voice sounded.

He smiled, and walked away. I sighed. I knew it wouldn't last. Of course he's going to talk to Azula. That would make sense. But suddenly, he raised his arm and slapped her. He hit a girl. Why would he do that?

"That was for being a bully you insufferable brat!" He hissed at her, though I knew he probably didn't know what those words even meant. She shrieked.

"Hey! That hurt! Besides, are you any different? You don't want to hang around him, nobody does! He never even talks! All he does is cough, and when he isn't he's reading! He's so boring, and he'll just infect you! Why do you think his whole family is dead? Because of him!" Well it wasn't necessarily true, but it was all my fault.

I balled my hands into fists and looked at the floor. I wouldn't fight back. I was such a coward. I didn't even thank Jack. Jack laughed. Of course he would. I knew it was too good to be true. Jack kept laughing and everyone gave him a strange look. "You really think I care about that? For all I know, I've done worse!" Jack smiled. "Now, what's your name?"

Everybody apparently lost interest, because they all walked away, assuming that Jack was just another weirdo like him. "...So….? Your name?" Jack asked, tilting his head and grinning. I furrowed my brow, and opened my mouth to speak - and coughed again. Damn it.

I cleared my throat a little. "My name is Hiccup." I flinched at the sound of my own voice. Uhg. I sounded terrible. "But everyone here doesn't really care so what's your deal?" I asked suspicious. He laughed again.

"Okay, totally sorry, but …" He bit his lip and I raised an eyebrow. "Is that a nickname because if it is shouldn't it be Cough or something?" He looked sorta worried he might have hurt my feelings, and to be honest, at the time it sort of did. I furrowed my brow.

"I haven't heard that one before…." I rolled my eyes, and smiled for the first time. For some reason Jack turned a little red. I never knew why. "No. Hiccup is my real name, my parents were -" I sighed. "I'm a viking descendant. We stick to tradition. So…"

Jack laughed again. "Wow, I wish I knew where I was from." He grinned again.

For the first time in a long time, Hiccup felt needed. He felt like someone actually cared. and that made him really happy. He felt like there was someone who worried about and helped him when he couldn't breathe - in the literal sense.

* * *

1 YEAR LATER

"Come on, Hic, you're going to be late!" Hiccup sat up in bed, his eleven year old self as tired as a baby who ran a marathon. Jack was standing over him, and he was already up and ready for school.

After Hiccup was done with his early morning coughing fit, he walked over to the wardrobe. Jack walked up behind him. "Hic… your wheezing again." I concentrated and controlled it. I didn't want everyone at school to think I was freak too. "You ready? let's go!" Jack pulled me out.

Gobber, our orphanage leader stopped us. "Wait a moment boys, we have a new couple coming in, looking for a boy about your age. Stay for a moment, I'll call the school." I flinched. No matter how much Jack had brought me out of my hole, I knew I'd never get adopted.

Nobody wanted to deal with the sick kid. I've got a chronic illness for gods sake, it's the fourth leading cause of death in the U.S., I probably won't live long. I know that, and I have faced that fact. Jack doesn't really get it. He's naive. He thinks of us as best friends who will never separate, but I know better. Nothing is permanent.

I didn't know how right I was.

The couple came in and looked around at the four of us. It was me, Jack, and two other boys. Gobber pulled one of them off to the side and whispered in her ear and looked over to me. She gave me that look and I wanted to punch a wall. I didn't want her pity. Jack bumped my shoulder.

"Come on Hic, cheer up." he soothed. I coughed.

"I can't when that hag is giving me that look. I'm not weak." I swayed, my chest was tight. Jack noticed and put on his all-business face.

"Hiccup, sit down." I rolled my eyes and did as told. It helped. Gobber came over and knelt down.

"You okay Hiccup, lad?" He whispered. I nodded. Then, louder, "They chose you, Jack." My stomach dropped. I knew this would happen, I just knew it! What was I supposed to do without Jack? What would happen? No… I was being too selfish. This is what would be best for Jack. I can't do anything about it.

I coughed again. "Goodbye, Jack." I said, smiling. I wasn't fooling anybody though, I felt the droplets run down my face. He wiped them off. THen he did something that I thought was really weird. He hugged me and kissed my forehead. "I always wanted to do that. Goodbye, Hiccup." Soon everybody was crying, and it was a mess.

He turned around and I've never seen him since.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for your support :) This chapter is semi-important. (Honestly this one isn't my favorite)**

PRESENT DAY

I walked back into the orphanage. It's August 18th. Only a few more days until school starts, and this time, it's the big leagues. High School. Not that I care. I don't care much about anything anymore. It's been 4 years since Jack left. I'm fifteen now. And I haven't been adopted yet. It's not like I'm the oldest, but I don't think I'll leave until I get older.

I haven't seen Jack again, and I don't think I will. But it doesn't matter. Nothing really does anymore. Since everything I once cared about is gone. Sometimes it's an empty feeling, or just an uncaring one. Sometimes its sad. Most of the time it's angry. Angry that everyone would just abandon me like that.

Well it's too late now.

"Hiccup, someone… someone is here to see you." Gobber said as I stepped through the door. I panicked. I ran to my room, slammed the door and put my back up against it. Gobber knocked on the door and rolled his eyes. "It's not a doctor, ya fool."

I sighed in relief. I hated doctors and their strange tests they did on me. I opened the door and walked with Gobber to the...lobby? Why? I shook my head. Gobber nodded at a man a few feet away. He was big.

"Hi, you're Hiccup, right? My name is Stoick." Hmm. A Viking name, I noticed. "I came because I wanted to speak with you." He motioned for me to sit down. He did so. "I -" He didn't finish. I was wheezing again, my chest felt restricted. Another coughing fit.

I waved my hands. "Sorry…*wheeze*... sorry." I coughed once more. Stoick blinked. And whispered something to himself. I didn't know what he said, but honestly I didn't really care. "So, what was it that you wanted?" I asked, to the point.

Stoick laughed, a hearty laugh. "You see, I've always wanted a son, but my first wife went away, and my second recently died. As you probably know, I'm of viking descent, and I heard you are too, and I wanted to share that. So… I want to adopt you." He finished.

I just sat there, shocked. The words replayed in my head like a broken record. _I want to adopt you I want to adopt you I want to adopt you I want to adopt you._ I didn't know what to say. Except for "Yeah, sure." Smoothe, I know.

Once I moved in, it was awkward. Stoick wasn't that good at conversation, and neither was I. It was sort of just… silent. Then he asked me about school. "Where do you want to go to school, son?" He's gotten into that habit of calling me son, which I don't mind that much. I just shrugged. He sighed. "There is this really nice school about a mile or so away from here, not far at all. Go there." I just nodded.

* * *

**f**

The rest of the summer seemed totally pointless, so I just sat inside, exploring the house. There were lots of old things, and it sat up on top of a big hill. It was a pretty interesting house. I just didn't have anything better to do.

"Hey, COUGH!" I looked up from my book. Why I responded I'll never know. But of course this stupid neighborhood had bullies too. Look, I was right again. Nothing is temporary yet everything is. For example, bullies.

There were a few kids here. Most of them went to the same school as me. There were the twins, (whose names I always forgot) and there was Astrid, and -uhg- Snotlout. Well, his real name is James, but hes just a snotty kid. And his middle name is Lout. So, Snotlout. He doesn't like me much. Correction; at all.

"What is it, Sn- James? And it's Hiccup." I sighed. I didn't want to deal with this at all right now. Usual routine. Be the slimy coward you are and don't do anything about it, don't fight back. That's how it always is and always has been.

"Oh, not much just wondering when -" My coughing interrupted him, but I controlled it. "- you were going to cough again. HA!" He laughed, as my interruption had proven his point. He grabbed the front of my shirt and bashed my head hard up against the side of the house. "We're going to have a little fun, heh." He whispered in my ear.

Suddenly a woman came out of the house next door and called for him. He tsked and glared at me. "You're lucky." He went to leave, then turned around on the last step, so that he had to look up. "This isn't over. Watch your back." He left me coughing on the porch, alone.

* * *

I didn't get much sleep that night. Again. Not only was I coughing all night, but I couldn't figure out what to do about Snotlout. I had to do something. I decided I would write him a letter. If all else fails, revert to Plan A: Bear through it. The letter went something like this:

_Dear Snotlout,_

_I'm sorry if you think I'm worthless or useless, but I do as well._

_You can hit me if you want, but it wont do any good._

_I don't really feel that much pain anymore, I've gotten used to it._

_But if you feel the need, I guess just go ahead. Sorry about this._

_I hope we can be friends, I really didn't want to hurt your feelings if I did so._

_~H_

And for some reason, after that, he stopped bothering me. It wasn't like he stopped bullying me, he just stopped physically hitting me, so I guess it turned out fine in the end. He still had an image to keep up, and being friends with me would ruin that image.

* * *

**DAY BEFORE SCHOOL**

It was August 20, only one more day until that fancy school Stoick kept talking about would start. I was sort of looking forward to it, but then I wasn't. School has always been terrible for me, I have to concentrate on trying not to hack and splutter too much, and it loses my interest.

But there isn't anything I can do about it.

"Stoick?" I called out to my adoptive father. "Are you home?" I heard the screen door open, and someone was messing with the knob, then knocking. I looked onto the porch out my window, and who would it be except my lovely neighbor?

A woman stood on the doorstep. I didn't bother to answer the door, I didn't know how familiar her and him were. I didn't care much though. Because again, I didn't care much about anything.

Except I did care that my self conscious knew exactly who that woman was, but just refused to admit to myself that she was the one who took my best friend away.

I went to bed that night dreaming of death.

**I hope you liked it? I know a lot of stuff happened and it was short, but the pace should slow from here. I'm actually updating on time what is wrong with me. Also, look forward to the next chapter, trust me.**


	3. Chapter 3

******So yeah, another extremely depressing chapter. I can't even say I regret it. Finally some Hiccup and Jack action! sort of? more like crying sorry guys!******

**A thank you to HoneyBeeez for editing this chapter and part of the next! I really appreciate it! **

**A thank you to all my wonderful reviewers as well!**

_FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, AUGUST 21_

I woke up coughing again. It's funny, you don't really get a lot of sleep when you're me. Or not so funny. Uhg. Time to get ready for school. I've never gone to a private school, so this would be interesting. Maybe.

I went downstairs. Stoick wasn't home. I made some coffee for myself (It turns out the stuff is delicious) and ate a piece of toast. Better than oatmeal. Uhg.

I picked out a green sweater to go over my gray shirt. I put on my glasses, a pair of black skinny jeans (for some reason blue jeans aren't allowed) and converse and headed out the door. I figured I could walk, it wasn't far at all.

On the way I smiled at the neighbors mowing their lawns. There was a woman standing on a porch a few houses away from mine who looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place it in my memory, so I shrugged it off.

I crossed the street and the school was in sight. I had to stop for a minute to breathe. I had to pull myself together. I can't let people know my weakness. I tried to take deep breaths. In, out, in out. I gained control again.

"Hey, are you okay?" A girls voice asked. Shit. Already found out. And, would you look at that it was Astrid. Lovely. I looked around to make sure nobody else was here. I told her everything was fine. "Well, I don't think so. You know you're wheezing, right?" Oh. "You shouldn't come to school, you'll get other people sick." Astrid warned.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not contagious." She gave me a distrustful look. "Look, Astrid, I was born with it. It isn't contagious trust me. COPD. Look it up." I said, walking away. I could see the shock on her face. Crap, I just gave out my secret to a random stranger! Hopefully she wouldn't tell anyone, but I still wouldn't let my guard down.

I was so concentrated on thinking about that that I bumped into some guy. His hair was white. Dyed probably. And Spiked. It set off a coughing fit. "Hey… ow! Jesus…" He turned around and glared. "Sorry Frosty, didn't mean to step on your tail!" Uhg. This guy is awful! He doesn't have to glare like that.

Suddenly his face changed. It turned into a grin when one of his little Jock friends punched me in the gut. Ow, that hurt, like a lot more than if a healthy person got hit. I started coughing again. Uhg. "Whatever!" I turned and ran.

"Settle down, kids. We have a new student." The teacher spoke up. A few kids giggled in the back. It was the twins and Snotlout. And would you look at that, the dumb jocks and their cold hearted leader were in this class too. Why do I make so many enemies? The gods hate me…

There was giggling in the back of the room, and the guy who punched me spoke up, "I doubt he going to be able to learn with all that coughing." He snickered. Apparently Astrid had figured it out because she stood up and glared.

"At least he's trying." The jock shut up right then. Maybe Astrid was popular? I didn't know. But it definitely looked like something had once… happened, between the two. The frost head just sat there, watching in interest. He… reminded me of someone.

The teacher continued, looking annoyed at his students. "Please introduce yourself." I coughed a little, but it wasn't out of place, nobody noticed, really. I gave my signature crooked smile to the class, and I think half of them thought I was crazy.

"Hi, I'm Hiccup, and I hope to get to know you all better." A couple of them stared at me in shock, and a couple of them laughed, and a few, for some reason, looked at frost-head (I really needed to ask for his name), who was just smiling like a fool, he looked determined? why? Nevermind. I didn't want to know. "Yeah, I know, I know, I have a weird name. It's… a family thing." I smiled weakly.

The teacher, I learned his name was Mr. Bunnymund, told me to sit over in the front, next to Astrid. It was homeroom, so I just pulled out my sketchbook and decided to doodle for a few minutes. I was drawing a rather personal piece when frost-head walked over and smiled down at me and pulled my sketchbook out of my grasp, and ran away with it!

What was I going to do!?

JACK

So, Hiccup doesn't remember me? Ouch. Usually I'm the one who forgets things. Well, I guess I look a little different, right? I smiled down at the doodling Hiccup and decided, why not. I stole his sketchbook and ran into the bathroom. It would be kind of weird to look at it out here, so I sat in the stall.

I opened it up. I had expected drawings of dragons, and there were some, but not as many as I hoped, and definitely not as nice. Don't get me wrong, Hiccup is a natural born artist, he just… doesn't draw happy things much anymore. It wasn't like the art was bad.

The first drawing was him in the hospital, hooked up to the thing he called the dragon. It was surrounded in darkness. Drawing after drawing of him alone, of him displaying self hatred. A few that stood out were the ones that showed the scars on his wrists, or the ones where he was apologizing, even if he didn't do anything wrong. Then I got to the one he had been working on.

He was trying to swim to the surface, one arm reaching looked desperate, and tears were pouring down his face, but his eyes were the worst. They were dead. The suffering in them was evident. And his left leg was… missing? Tied to where it was cut off was a large brick that was pulling him deeper. That was odd. I saw that there was a boy, seemingly floating above. A boy with brown hair and brown eyes.

I realized that I was the boy when I saw the caption. "Jack, I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so, sorry. If I could change one thing, it would be losing you. It wouldn't be this wretched cough, it wouldn't be my mom going nuts and beating me, nor my dad abandoning us. It wouldn't be the accident, and it wouldn't be all the bullies. If I could have saved our friendship, I think I could still be happy. But I couldn't. It's my fault. I'm so, so, so, sorry, Jack. I didn't mean to lose you. I didn't mean to lose myself…"

I started to cry. I heard someone come into the bathroom. "-head? Frost-head? Are you in here!? Give me back my sketchbook!" He sounded angry, and hurt. I couldn't stop crying. I took out my blue tinted contacts. I opened the door. He turned to me, anger on his face at first, and then it turned to recognition, then hurt, then shock. Then it was… something dark.

HICCUP

How could I not have seen the signs? It's been so long since I'd seen him, but he was the only person who really cared about me (who didn't go batshit crazy) and I should have recognized him. This is all my fault. My voice was broken and cracked when I spoke next.

"Ja..ack?" It's all my fault. "J-Jack…? Is that.. I-Is that you?" I sounded almost as bad as when I was told my mom committed suicide. "Jack why are you here?" It's all my fault. "Jack, why are you crying?" It's all my fault. "Jack?" Everything.

Everything is my fault.

Suddenly I was enveloped in a hug. "Hiccup… I'm sorry. This isn't your fault." Yes it is. "Of course you wouldn't recognize me, I changed my looks completely." No, I'm just an idiot. "Hiccup don't blame yourself." If I smile they always stop asking. I forced a smile. Then went into a coughing fit. I rescued myself again.

"I-Its fine, I-I don't." Jack gave me a look of sadness. He looked to the side a little bit, and then he sighed. He hung his head low and sheepishly looked up.

"I- Hiccup. I saw the drawings." I dropped my jaw, those were personal! I knew I shouldn't have brought it. To school, of all places. Good idea Hiccup. "It's not like I meant to! Or, well I did, but I didn't know they were personal! I'm sorry…." he spluttered. I could have laughed, had I not gone pale remembering the last one.

"Did you see th-" I started. I didn't get to finish. Stupid coughing. Jack knew what I meant though.

"Yeah... Hiccup, what is that all about? When we were younger-" I flinched, not wanting to remember, which wasn't unnoticed by Jack, "-you never told me anything important. When we were little, I thought you just had pneumonia for a whole year or something, but it's still here! Why are you so upset about everything, and why are you missing a leg in this, you walk just fine! What's this about your mom and dad, and this 'accident'? Hiccup!?" Now I was crying.

I sighed, might as well get it out of the way. I lifted up my left pant leg. Soon a metal prosthetic was visible. "There was an accident about 2 years after you...left. I was in a car on the passengers side and it flipped over and…" I gulped, "The car rolled down the hill. The glass cut me up pretty bad, but… there was a metal gate at the bottom of the hill. It managed to go through the car and…" I took a deep breath, or tried to, ended up coughing a little, "It impaled my leg. They couldn't fix the damage, after that the car set fire, and the burns matched with the wounds just couldn't be saved. My flesh was rotting." I blew out.

Jack looked terrified. I brought him home after school and told him the rest, everything from when I was four until now, 11 years of pain. He looked absolutely as crushed as I felt. I had to relive every painful moment, and it wasn't as easy as talking about the accident. Several times I had to stop for a while and just sit and cry. Sadness was better than emptiness, right? Honestly I wouldn't be able to tell you. Probably hearing about my disease was the worst for him. He looked shocked, and honestly I thought he had known. We were together for a whole year after all.

The whole time Stoick stood in the doorway. It had only been a couple of weeks, but he had grown to love this boy. He stood there, weeping silently. I thought that I might be able to achieve happiness again, for the first time in a long time.

Jack just nodded when I was finished. "You didn't deserve any of this. And it isn't your fault. Just… I'm gonna be here for you all the time from now on, okay? Just call me, talk to me, anything, whenever. I'm not going to leave you again." He smiled at me, a sad smile.

I think maybe it was then that I fell for Jack. When he could so easily stay by my side, after figuring out I was hard to deal with, even though he was a generally fun person. He didn't even think I was weird, or anything.

Because Jack, he was… different. A good different. And that just made me like him all that much more. But you know… I don't think I'll tell him just yet.

******Okay I lied I am sorry. That was pretty painful to write. I'll update soon!********


	4. Chapter 4

**So I do realize I have't updated in a while, sorry, I'll get back on that. I'd tell you I was studying, but that would be a lie. (Honestly I really should though Finals are next week)**

* * *

HICCUP

I sat against the sofa, listening to Jack talk. It's been four days since that time he found the sketchbook. I don't regret it at all. Not really. I probably wouldn't have recognized him if not for that. He told me he thought it might have been better that way (at the time) but now he understands that that's not the case.

"You know, I live right across the street from you now! We can hang out like all the time!" I nodded, and kept doing so when it was appropriate. Don't get me wrong, I was listening. I just was a little busy at the moment looking into his gorgeous eyes, (blue or brown, it didn't matter I loved both) and watching his mouth go crazy places, from a lopsided smile to a -

Nope. Stop. He's obviously got a girlfriend. He's tall, handsome, and popular. There is no way. And even, on the off, 1% chance that he's even _bi_, or the 0.5% that he's _gay_, why out of all people, would he like me, the depressed little freak he has to hang out with? So no. Not feeling that "I'm so going to tell him" right now.

His head tilted a little, a worried look on his face. "Hey, Hic are you okay?" My breath caught in my throat. I had a coughing fit and I started crying right after.

"_Come on Hic, you're going to be late."_

"_Hic, you're wheezing again."_

"_Come on Hic, cheer up."_

"_Hic, it'll all be fine. I promise."_

_Hic, Hic, Hic, Hic. NOO._

No, no, no, no, no! Don't bring up bad memories. No! Not the day you left. Noooooo! No don't if you say that, you'll leave again! Don't call me Hic. No! Never, ever, ever. Stop. Memories hurt. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to let you go.

I found myself being hugged. Apparently I had said all that out loud, (embarrassing I know) because Jack shushed me and said. "Hic, Hic, Hic, Hic, Hic. That's your name to me. The sweetest most adorable kid I ever knew once told me that he was a Viking descendant. He said they were stubborn, countless times. But the one thing he said to me that made me want to be his best friend was, "we stick to tradition." Because that means you keep promises. And I couldn't do that then… but…" He paused, searching for words.

"But now I can. And I promise that I'm always going to call you Hic, because it will remind you of me." _Because you keep promises._ "I promise that I will get in that smart little brain of yours, and I will make all the bad memories get replaced by good ones." _Because I keep promises._ "And I promise that you'll never have to feel sorry again, and that I will never, ever, let you go again." _Bec-_ "Because _WE_ keep promises, Hic. That's why."

I sniffled, then giggled a little. "A-Are you done yet, Ffr-osthead? Wh-WHo are you M-mArtin Luther k-King?" He laughed a little. Then he nodded. He hugged me again. But this hug felt… different. It wasn't the kind of hug you would give as comfort, or to a family member or a friend. It was special. But I assumed it was my imagination running wild.

* * *

JACK

Why is he so damn cute!? He is the most adorable little shit, even when he's crying. (Look I know that sounds bad, but he's damn adorable when he stutters.) He coughed again. I frowned. "Maybe you should sit down." I huffed, pushing him away.

He rolled his eyes again, drying his tears a little. "Hey, I'm not eleven anymore." I just told him he should be more careful. "I've got enough on my plate trying to hid-" He stopped, looking away. I narrowed my eyes at him and made him look at me.

"What are you trying to do?" I asked, all business again. He avoided my eyes, saying nothing. "Hiccup!" Look, sure the guy had problems, but everybody needs a little push sometimes! He flinched a little, grimacing when I touched his face.

"I… I can't tell you. I'm sorry." I was hurt. I thought he could trust me! "...but I will… eventually." Okay, he can't spill all his secrets in one day, right? "Sorry." He let out a little cough. I shook my head and sighed.

"Pfff, I guess its fine you big goof." I sighed. He seemed to cheer up a little. I laughed. "It's been nearly four years and we are already talking like we used to." I smiled. I avoided saying things like "best friends," because, to be honest, that isn't how I felt. Of course… Hiccup couldn't know that. Nope. (At that point, I didn't really know either…)

But oh well. Might as well enjoy this.

* * *

HICCUP

I walked into school the next morning smiling, for once. When I passed through the gates, a guy walked up to me. I didn't really know him. He was pretty handsome, though, I must admit. He smiled when he walked up to me, and said, "So, you are the famous Hiccup, then." I raised an eyebrow, curiously. Me, famous? Never.

"I must begrudgingly admit that you are as cute as he said you are, if a little thin." I blushed. I didn't know whether I should thank him or be angry. "Okay. Challenge accepted." He winked, and then left. Who was that guy? Jeez. How did he know me? What did "challenge accepted" mean"?

I brushed it off for now. But when I walked into the school, it was like, "That's him, isn't it?!" and "He really is cute!" and "I can see why Jack-" but the last one was always shushed, I never heard the end of it. I just continued walking. Astrid turned the corner and ran up to me. She hadn't talked to me since the first day (5 days ago). I guess she changed her mind.

"Hiccup!" She ran up to me. "I've been hearing some rumours lately. About you." I tilted my head, confused. "Are you really Jack's childhood friend?" I nodded. She huffed. "Why? He's such a bully. And he's a major playboy."

I knew it. Jack has a girlfriend. My dreams are suddenly flushed down the toilet. "Sorry if he's the only one who _wanted_ to be my friend back then, Astrid." I snapped. She looked hurt. "Oh… sorry. Just a little frustrated today." I lied. She smiled, and forgave me.

"Well, anyway, back to Jack. You do know this whole time he's had this stupid, 'my prince will come' theory about you. Like hes been spouting nonsense for years." _What?!_ "He was a mess the first few months he was here. He's gorgeous though, so once he recovered from the shock, he was quite popular actually. But he never once gave up on seeing you again."

The words rang through my head like a broken record. _Never once gave up on seeing you once gave up on seeing you once gave up on seeing you again. _"W-What?" did that really happen? So everyone knew about me? Because Jack couldn't shut up? Thats sweet. And also really embarrassing. Really, Jack? So thats why a lot of people looked at Jack on that first day of school when I said my name was Hiccup! Uhg.

Jack remembered me the _whole_ time? That has to mean somethi- No. Jack is most likely straight. I can't like him that way, it'll just be a burden. I have to be grateful for what I have right? I can't just go around wanting things.

It just didn't work like that.

**Soooooo sort of a filler chapter, sorry about that. Also, be excited. Next chapter you get to see a TON of familiar characters. From shows, movies, and *wink* some anime. GET READY FOR ART CLASS FOOLS.**


	5. Chapter 5

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*******DOUBLE CHAPTER UPDATE GO BACK ONE********

**decided to treat you guys. Have an extra filled with fun chapter. Its good i think. DRAGGED IN SOME SIDE CHARACTERS I LOVE YAH. You will probably hate me after this though. Really.**

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I walked to my first class. They finally fixed all my classes, since for the past week I've been shadowing people I didn't really like or know. Well, I shadowed Astrid once. That wasn't very fun, she was all mother-hen-like. But she's a pretty nice girl, I guess.

Art 1. I was really excited for this. The school at the orphanage didn't have an arts program, but then, it didn't have a sports program either. Unless you count that weird fighting class they taught us (Azula loved it).

I walked in and saw that guy! The one from earlier. He looked like he was talking to somebody though. A girl. She had really, _really_ red, curly hair. She was protecting a short brunette in a pink dress. Not far away there was a girl with short, blue hair. A girl and a boy who were obviously twins, although the girl looked a little crazy, talked to a boy with super spiky hair, who looked like he didn't get a lot of sleep. there was a black haired blind girl who was talking to a guy who looked like an eskimo, two girls with strikingly blue eyes and goofy smiles, and another set of ginger haired twins who were Japanese. This classroom looked more than a little crazy.

A teacher walked in, and the room went silent. She piped up, "Finally, some fresh meat in this class," she said, looking at me. "By now they all know each others middle names, it's been a while. Now, introduce yourselves. No stiff introductions. Line up."

They all lined up in front of me, and it was almost as if they rehearsed it. They all proceeded to say their names and three things about themselves, or things they thought. Or really just three things, with some of them.

First was the redhead. "Aye, I am Merida. You can call me Red, if you want. Yes Ahm scottish. Ahm datin' the wee lass over there." the brunette put her hands over her face - that was completely red - and groaned. "Ah don't like being told what to do, and ah am actually a very poor artist."

Next, the brunette. "Hi, um… I'm Rapunzel. I like to paint! And I love candles! And I'm a little shy…but don't let that bother you!" She sighed, relieved to be done.

After her was the blue haired girl. "Hello. I'm Coraline. Coraline with an O, not an A. Not Caroline." She seemed very touchy about that. "If you ever meet your other mother, don't listen to her." I flinched. It's fine. She couldn't know. Also… _other _mother? "And also, I'm afraid of buttons." She was … strange?

The first set of twins walked up. They were sort of short, and looked like they had skipped a grade. The girl smiled. "Hi, I'm Mabel! And this is my brother Dipper. As you can see he isn't very manly." The boy elbowed her in the stomach, and he laughed nervously. "haa haa, she's funny. Anyway, we're the Pines twins, or the Mystery twins." A couple people giggled, and Coraline scoffed. "Um, Mabel has a pet pig named Waddles, and I have a really cool book you should check out sometime!"

After was the spiky haired kid. "Uh.. I'm uh… Norman." This kid had a stutter too! I already liked him. "I can see uh, ghosts… but it's fine if you don't believe me." I smiled and nodded. He sighed with relief. "Um, you… you've seen someone die before, haven't you?" He looked very sad, and I knew he probably knew the feeling. He smiled a little and left.

The black haired girl waltzed - literally - up and said, "I'm Toph, nice to meet ch'ya!" I suddenly remembered art is all about seeing. "I know I'm blind, but I took this class to prove I can do things on my own! I'm not helpless, and I can pretty much see anyway!"

The eskimo guy popped up behind her. "She likes to say she can hear sonic waves, like a bat, but she's just really sensitive to movement is all!" He giggled. The girl punched him and started yelling. "Hey, I get it, sorry!" He kept laughing. "I'm Sokka, by the way. Not from here!"

Next were the blue eyed strawberry blonde and platinum blonde. The first jumped in, "Hi, I'm Anna! Its pronounced Ah-nah, not Ann-ah, so sorry if thats confusing! I really like chocolate! Oh, and this is my sister, Elsa!" the platinum spoke up. "Hello, it's Elsa, and, I'm sorry, she's quite excitable!" They both talked with their hands a lot, it was funny.

The ginger twins walked up. "Hello I'm Hikaru." then the other, "Kaoru. You seem to be the rumored" then both together, "Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III?" I laughed, they were so in sync! I couldn't help but giggle.

"Um. It's Hiccup, yeah. I don't like being told what to do either. I like to paint - but sketching is more fun. I also hate it when people mess up my name, Coraline. I'm not very manly either, Dipper, it's ok. I'm getting a cat soon, I don't know what I'm going to name it yet, Mable, you can help me! Norman you have a really cool gift, I believe you. Toph you aren't the only gimp - trust me. I'm a viking Sokka, come on! I prefer salty over sweet, Anna. Elsa, you're really shy aren't you? And Hikaru and Kaoru I can't help it, but you two are so in sync it's crazy!" I huffed. That was probably the longest introduction I have ever given.

The guy from earlier walked up to me and smiled, "Hi, I'm Eugene." I smiled back. Rapunzel laughed and yelled, "No PDA, Eugene!" If I was a tomato, Eugene would have been way worse. "HEY! IT ISN'T LIKE THAT!" Eugene proceeded to try to flirt all class but no thanks. I laughed it off. I could get used to this. I walked over to Norman, I wanted to talk to him, he seemed nice.

Or, I tripped to Norman. Stupid water on the floor that I can't feel because I don't have a foot. Stupid. "Hey… uh, are you okay?" He asked. I grunted as Toph tripped over me. Mabel shouted something about a pig pile and grabbed her brother, knocked Norman on top of us, and somehow almost everybody was on the floor in the span of 8 seconds.

Somebody went, "Ohhhh this is what you meant about the gimp thing, wasn't it?" It was Coraline. She had seen my leg. Toph grunted.

"Yeah, what is this metal thing? It's hurting my arm." I apologized instinctively and she jumped. "Ah! It moved!" At a moment where people should be laughing, they were silent. "WHAT? is something wrong!?" Toph said, exasperated.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, Toph. The metal that's hurting your arm is my leg." The people who hadn't seen gasped, and I laughed. "It's fine, guys, really. It's just a leg. just stop spilling things, I can't feel it… and then this happens. It's not like I'm dying of some disease." _stop lying to yourself, you're going to die much earlier than them.__ You have a disease. Idiot._

Finally, they laughed. We got on to actually having class, and I talked to Norman, the Pines twins, Rapunzel and Merida mostly. I asked Norman how his gift worked, and he told me all about it. Coraline scoffed from across the room, and said, "The way you view the supernatural is entirely different from me. I don't think ghosts are real, but you don't think a second dimension is possible. One of us must be lying, right?" Norman just sighed.

Norman and I were fast friends. We actually had a lot in common. Insomnia, for example. But I wont go into it. About half way through, the teacher announced, "You have a project due at the end of the year, so start it. It can be whatever. The project is your final, so you better put a lot of effort into it! Good luck!" I stopped. Oh well, I'll think about it later.

Other classes went by. I had some with Norman, a few with the Pines, who seemed to have every class together, two with Merida, Rapunzel, and Anna, and then last period rolled around and what do you know, History, with Jack, Elsa, and Norman. Pretty Ironic actually. History with the boy who comes from a Viking family, a boy who doesn't remember _anything_ before the age of 8 (well, he wouldn't know, but still), and the boy who can see dead people. Ironic.

I sat down next to Jack. I felt this glare from the other side of the room. Oh it was Astrid. She's probably angry I didn't sit with her… But she was glaring at Elsa? Weird. I'll ask her about that later. Jack smiled. "Did you make some new friends?" He raised his eyebrow at Norman. But it looked like he already knew Elsa well. Very well. Damn it, I knew he had a girlfriend.

"Uh, yeah, this is Norman." Norman gave a little wave, shy. He usually only spoke in the Art room, he told me. Mostly because nobody wanted to talk to him. That's stupid, he's a good kid. He has good morals.

I looked back at Jack. "He's shy." Jack looked shocked for a minute, then said worriedly, "You know, if you have to much in common that might be a bad thing. Then who would be my…" he faltered and I flinched, "...best friend?" _He hesitated. He doesn't really like you._ I coughed a little and got over it.

"Nobody!" I laughed. _You're right. After he throws you away again you'll be such a mess that nobody will ever want you. Too bad you have to laugh even though you're so upset. _

Norman looked shocked, "Hiccup! Are you alright!?" I laughed, and kept smiling. I nodded and asked why I wouldn't be.

Jack grabbed my hand and dragged me to the hallway. "Hic, you're crying again." He hugged me. I wondered again. Will I ever be happy? Will I ever be loved? I don't know.

_I'm sorry, Jack. I love you. I don't mean to do this to you. I apologize for making you sad. I apologize for everything. But I don't think I can do this anymore. I love you. I'm sorry._

**IM SOrrRY MaHJROR CLIffHANGeer SOTrreYY**


	6. Chapter 6

CHPTER WHAT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I love Jack. I love him so much. I'm so scared. I opened my eyes to see Jack sitting in my living room. He was shouting, screaming at me even. I don't know why.

"HOW COULD YOU!? I helped you all this time and you've done absolutely nothing for me. You lied to me. You like me? Seriously? That's just gross! Why didn't you tell me you've been bullied sooner? Are you an idiot? You're useless. Useless Hiccup!"

The words hurt. I was a mess, sobbing and everything. But then my new found friends were outside. "I heard he tried suicide once." one said. Another, "Doesn't he have a gross disease?" And, "Why is he such an unbelievable nerd?" No no no.

I was panicking. No, no, no! I'M SORRY. It's all my fault, I promise! I didn't mean for any of this to happen! Jack laughed and turned back to me. He had a sad and evil frown on his face.

"I can't believe I ever helped you. You are worthless. There isn't a soul on earth who even likes you."

Suddenly it was a blur and I sat up sobbing. It took me a minute to register that what just happened was a dream.

Even if it was true.

Jack had asked me if I wanted to go to the park today. I said no. Astrid asked me to go see a movie. I said no. Merida asked if I wanted to go to the gym. I said no. Norman asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I said no. What did they care? They would ask someone else.

Stoick asked me if I wanted dinner. I said no. In the day that had passed, all I ever said was "no". It felt pointless. I would sit in my room staring at the ceiling for hours, doing nothing but counting numbers up to the millions.

It was after 3 days that anyone said anything.

Stoick didn't understand. He often pressured me to go outside, or get up and do something. I didn't give in. Eventually Jack showed up. He came with Norman. He told me that he wanted to talk to me.

Norman sighed. "Look Hiccup. I understand." I don't think you do. "I mean I was severely bullied in the past. I get that you don't want to go school." It wasn't the same for you. "They all thought i was a nut case! They still do."

"Norman. You don't get it." I said simply. Even though he was about to speak again, maybe I had changed his mind. He thought for minute. "No, but I have every right to tell you that people miss you, Hiccup." He didn't look angry. He looked sad for me. How could I be so rude to a friend?

Jack watched him walk out. "Hiccup. You can't just give up. You have to fight! What's wrong with you these days anyway? You look like a zombie." That made me angry. How could he?

"What is there to fight for? Everything is broken. What's wrong with me!? What isn't?! After I just got everything I could ever ask for, a family, friends, meeting you again, I have the guts to feel like absolute trash! I look like a zombie because I haven't eaten or slept in three days! Which reminds me, that's how long it took you to notice I was gone! You must hate me. All I do is feel sorry for myself."

Jack started crying. Which was rare. "Hiccup, oh Hiccup. We noticed. We thought we would give you some space. And you are by far the best person I have ever met. You need to get up. We miss you." He hesitated. "I miss you." He blushed and looked away.

I realized something that day. No matter how many people hate you or are against you, you cannot give up. Because there is always going to be someone who truly loves you. Even if you're convinced that they don't.

JACK

Now that Hiccup was moving around again, I had to put some food in him. I made him sleep after I talked to him yesterday. He was quite tired. He had another nightmare. But he told me they were common. Which did not in the least make me feel better.

Oh how badly i wanted to kiss away his suffering. But Hiccup had enough on his plate already. I didn't want to do anything rash. Then the Babcock kid. I think he likes Hiccup. And I can't allow that.

While I was ordering pizza, Hiccup sat in the living room with Norman, the pines twins, and Rapunzel. They may have seemed to be an unlikely group, but they all had one thing in common: they shared a love for adventure. They talked for hours about dragons, and lost princesses being guarded by those dragons, the mystery surrounding the princess, and terrors and horrors she faced.

I was worried. Hiccup might have another nightmare tonight. I wont be here. What could I tell him to do?

I don't know what a lot of what Hiccup said meant. Obviously he's messed up, but he wanted to get better on his own, without professional help. But he stopped being sad long enough to yell, so that's a start.

Sometimes even doctors are bullies though.

As I listened to the chatter in the living room, I look around. And what do i find but a piano with scribbly handwritten music sitting atop it. Did Hiccup write this? In the bottom corner of the paper, his name is written. He did write it.

Now I took piano lessons for five or six years, so I'm not bad. Sitting down on the piano bench, I forgot about them in the other room and began to play.

The music itself was beautiful. Hiccup was truly an amazing artist. The music was sad, but it was also inspirational. I may have messed up a few notes, but on the whole, it was pretty good.

I looked up and Hiccup was right in front of me. _Wow. He is adorable._ "You're not supposed to look at other people's stuff you know." I just laughed. He lost his sarcasm for a moment. "You're a very good player." He added.

I shook my head. "No, its you're writing that's good. I could listen to this piece for hours." He blushed and denied all compliments, as usual.

And for the first time today, he smiled.

"Thank you." He said. He looked down at his feet. "For everything." I pulled up on his chin, so he would look at me. And i made him swear to me that he wouldn't do anything rash.

Although judging by the cuts on his arms, I knew I'd have to be extra careful about watching him anyway.


	7. Chapter 7

I stood in front of the art class door. Even though it was closed, anyone would be able to hear the many shouts and voices coming from the inside. For example, at the moment, Dipper could be heard yelling at his loud, laughing, twin sister. I opened the door, and it got even louder.

"MABEL! No! Mabellllll! GIVE IT BAAAACK!" I looked over, curious. I shrugged it off. I walked over to my seat beside Norman. He looked a little... embarrassed? And he was looking over at the twins.

"What's with you?" He didn't say anything. For some reason I got this idea in my head right then. "Oh my god. You like Mabel, don't you?" He made a face, and I thought I'd ask again. "Wait... no way. Dipper?" He tried to deny it, but he turned so many shades of red that even a potato could guess he really liked him.

I just smiled. "I didn't peg you as gay. But I am too, so it doesn't bother me" Norman looked surprised.

"Ummm. I'm Bi. And I don't know what to do, he is literally the cutest thing." I rolled my eyes and told him that boys aren't CUTE, they're handsome. I coughed a little.

Jack had said he was going to come visit the art room that morning, to check on me or something. He walked in right then, and he had apparently heard our conversation.

"I don't know Hic, you're pretty cute." Why did he have to get my hopes up like that? Uhg. I blushed a lot. Norman looked at Jack, then at me, and back again. Then he said one of the many things I wished he hadn't.

"Are you guys..." he didn't finish, probably because of my dramatic head shaking and wide eyes, but all of us knew the ending of that sentence. Together.

Jack wildly denied it. "Nonono, we're not. That'd be weird, wouldn't it? Since we're best friends." Norman looked over at me. I was shaking. Norman nodded at Jack as if he said it right.

"Um... I have to go the toilet." I walked out of there as fast as possible. I was coughing some more. Why do I always cry in the bathroom? I thought as I sped down the plain, white hallways. It's so stupid, liking him. I should just let go of it already. He has girls all over the place, just waiting for him.

He wouldn't want a useless wreck like me.

"Hiccup?" Norman walked in then. I was sitting in the last stall. I wiped away my tears, and walked outside. Nobody else could know. He didn't notice. He asked if I was okay. I lied. He asked if I liked Jack. I lied. He asked why I was shaking. I told him I was cold. I lied.

He didn't even notice. Although, it was really my fault. Him not noticing was bedsides the point. If I wasn't such a liar it would be fine.

Get over it. Crying won't solve anything. Even if it hurts crying won't ease the pain. You know that very well. Didn't your precious mother teach you that? The voice inside my head was nagging again.

Stupid Jack. If he would just notice, then maybe it would be easier. But somehow I was glad he didn't know. It was easier to pretend. For some reason the coughing seemed worse today.

ART CLUB - THAT AFTERNOON

Rapunzel was staring at me funny again. It had been happening all day and I just didn't understand. What was going on? After another five minutes she pulled me out into the hall.

"Hey, are you okay?" I gave a questioning look. I wasn't really upset anymore. So why would she ask unless..."Hiccup, you're wheezing! That isn't very 'okay' to me!" She was right.

I tried to hold it in, and I did all my breathing exercises, and everything. But it wasn't enough. I was having an attack.

All my breathing seemed labored, and I reached out to lean on the wall. Rapunzel was calling out, but I couldn't focus on anything. I could just make out the words, "wait here". I felt myself gasping, reaching out for oxygen, anything.

It looked as if I was going to black out. I could feel myself falling to the ground, when through blurry eyes I could see someone yelling at me, and I flinched. I said something, but I couldn't seem to remember exactly what it was.

I realized that the person in front of me was Jack. Through blurry eyes, I remember saying something, but I don't know what. I reached out and tried to breathe. Slowly, somehow, I pulled myself out of it. Slowly I started to get back some air, and I just sat against the wall for a little, next to Jack.

"You should go to the hospital."

"No. I'm not going back there." I said.

Jack looked like he was thinking really hard. I asked what he was thinking about, and he looked at me like I was strange. After a minute he just spoke, "it's nothing" I just shrugged and didn't worry about it.

But maybe I should have.

**I'm really sorry guys, it's been a while. But that was a terrible chapter ending I know. I will update really soon, ok? Ok.**

**soooo, Hiccups first attack. And when I say 'first' I mean 'not the last so sorry' but oh well you'll just have to keep reading. See ya.**


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